Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
