I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
