I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
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