he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
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Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
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pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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