found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
