is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
they're like a gay fantastic four
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
so much tequila, so little girl.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Randomize
