super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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