can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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