the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
