so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
