He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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