Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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