I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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