At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
