She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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