Who wears a wallet chain?!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
