Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.