a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
