I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.