i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!