you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
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I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
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You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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