OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
