It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Houston, we have a blender
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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