Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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