I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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