I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
My vagina is very pro this idea
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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