It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
