well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I yelled at your uterus for you.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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