I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
you made out with another girl for some wings
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