Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Randomize
