Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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