On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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