So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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