He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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