How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
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