i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
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