I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Randomize
