all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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