I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
25 Hilarious ‘Sex Clubs’ You Should Try To Join
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
These 23 People Had Crazy Sex With Complete Strangers
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.