No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex