Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.

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(403): she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that. http://tfl.nu/e222

Replies (11) Good night (2968) Bad night (781)
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(281): View more from Texas

They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.

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(281): They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born. http://tfl.nu/is60

Replies (7) Good night (687) Bad night (1664)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.

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(860): we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed. http://tfl.nu/9td1

Replies (14) Good night (4847) Bad night (1035)
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(630): View more from Illinois

Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.

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(630): Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week. http://tfl.nu/dxsu

Replies (5) Good night (3104) Bad night (1582)
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(940): View more from Texas

You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.

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(940): You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata. http://tfl.nu/mqsn

Replies (3) Good night (3383) Bad night (819)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.

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(405): I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway. http://tfl.nu/1jw1

Replies (11) Good night (2900) Bad night (1555)
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(416): View more from Toronto

You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...

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(416): You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere... http://tfl.nu/u20i

Replies (6) Good night (2285) Bad night (1841)
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(519): View more from Ontario

My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things

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(519): My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things http://tfl.nu/16j6

Replies (11) Good night (1262) Bad night (2740)
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(630): View more from Illinois

oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us

(1-630): View more from Illinois

fair point

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(630): oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us (1-630): fair point http://tfl.nu/efw3

Replies (8) Good night (1887) Bad night (978)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.

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(215): the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul. http://tfl.nu/vout

Replies (11) Good night (1918) Bad night (896)
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(707): View more from California

Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.

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(707): Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me. http://tfl.nu/6mha

Replies (6) Good night (1564) Bad night (522)
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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.

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(484): We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town. http://tfl.nu/27ii

Replies (23) Good night (2197) Bad night (838)
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(248): View more from Michigan

Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary

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(248): Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary http://tfl.nu/0652

Replies (3) Good night (402) Bad night (957)
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(989): View more from Michigan

No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.

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(989): No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to. http://tfl.nu/2okj

Replies (2) Good night (519) Bad night (290)
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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...

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(215): You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected... http://tfl.nu/3okc

Replies (0) Good night (600) Bad night (349)

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