there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
It’s A Miracle These 21 Promiscuous People Don’t Have STDs
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
These 27 Infuriatingly Annoying Habits Will Ruin Your Day
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.