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• (404): View more from Georgia

  My penis looks like a roll of pennies

  (303): View more from Colorado

  Oh. Ok. I get the hint.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.

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• (203): View more from Connecticut

  i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.

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• (909): View more from California

  He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.

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  If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (206): View more from Washington

  we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment

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• (229): View more from Georgia

  You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.

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  23 Struggles Kids These Days Will Never Know

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• (908): View more from New Jersey

  All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  That's what happens when you party with the tribe

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.

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• (250): View more from British Columbia

  He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.

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• (915): View more from Texas

  I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.

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