The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
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