Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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