and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
