just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
