He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
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