u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
Randomize
