1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
