I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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