Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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