just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
