i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
