im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
