Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
