So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize