I have demons in me.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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