I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
