apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Randomize
