Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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