Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
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