we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Randomize
