Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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