it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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