Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
I've blown a few things in my day
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize