Texts From Last Night

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  (404): View more from Georgia

  She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"

  (678): View more from Georgia

  So... What happend then?

  (404): View more from Georgia

  We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.

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  (404): She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating" (678): So... What happend then? (404): We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM. http://tfl.nu/3t62
  Replies (49) Good night (11498) Bad night (2763)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"

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  (601): Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing" http://tfl.nu/jpe9
  Replies (6) Good night (1241) Bad night (3636)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends

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  (732): i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends http://tfl.nu/aaz6
  Replies (40) Good night (2383) Bad night (6239)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.

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  (207): Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask. http://tfl.nu/6wlk
  Replies (6) Good night (2922) Bad night (1141)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.

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  (720): He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim. http://tfl.nu/2u9p
  Replies (8) Good night (3650) Bad night (1317)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.

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  (251): Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record. http://tfl.nu/akbh
  Replies (19) Good night (1862) Bad night (834)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy

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  (443): We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy http://tfl.nu/feuw
  Replies (14) Good night (2056) Bad night (693)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.

  (440): View more from Ohio

  The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.

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  (440): Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions. (440): The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America. http://tfl.nu/cnoq
  Replies (14) Good night (1706) Bad night (712)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on

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  (303): It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on http://tfl.nu/2wn1
  Replies (4) Good night (1729) Bad night (601)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.

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  (616): Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death. http://tfl.nu/ogc4
  Replies (9) Good night (2078) Bad night (559)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.

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  (360): Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit. http://tfl.nu/9fav
  Replies (4) Good night (605) Bad night (997)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.

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  (906): Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied. http://tfl.nu/iln6
  Replies (4) Good night (656) Bad night (360)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant

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  (217): yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant http://tfl.nu/oubr
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (437)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.

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  (812): She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever. http://tfl.nu/w90g
  Replies (2) Good night (1012) Bad night (355)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now

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  (239): If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now http://tfl.nu/p1pa
  Replies (3) Good night (396) Bad night (121)

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