im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
27 People Confess Their Proudest Fap
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
29 Unspoken Rules Of “Bro Code”
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.