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• (440): View more from Ohio

  just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

  Fav 283 1622 13877

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• (706): View more from Georgia

  I GOT MY PERIOD!

  (706): View more from Georgia

  damn. i had names picked out.

  Fav 18 7545 1397

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom

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  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.

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• (661): View more from California

  His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"

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• (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.

  (1-617): View more from Massachusetts

  I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?

  Fav 4 3364 1021

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.

  Fav 16 908 3038

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  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

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• (210): View more from Texas

  I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.

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• (316): View more from Kansas

  You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.

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• (519): View more from Ontario

  I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  this st patricks day sucks

  (815): View more from Illinois

  ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles

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• (954): View more from Florida

  When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.

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