No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
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The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
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I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
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