it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night