I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
