How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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