I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
